Yes, Global warming was revealed to be true by
Halliburton specialists in the last days of the Bush administration.
The truths of this effect are both scientific and spiritual:
1. That natural balancing systems of
the planet are triggered by chemical balances in the atmosphere and
oceans. When any species becomes too prevalent, simple culling
methods are employed to re-establish the balance and save the
planet. The trigger for this culling process is C02. The process
happens in a way such that the target organism ignores it - else the
culling process would not work. It is vitally important that the
majority of humans refute Global Warming, else the planet would
perish. We must encourage and thank those who know at a "gut level"
(your plumber, garbage man and anyone else in a jump suit with a
real loud voice) that Global Warming is not happening. These are
ecology's secret agents who insure the survival of our planet
by letting mother nature do what it must. It is the Green movement
that will insure the planet's destruction. How selfish can they be?
2. Jesus designed this
system in order to deliver those true believers into his hands.
As any good conservative knows, Jesus put this earth here for us to
lord over and use for our own enjoyment. Atheist Scientists are
trying to keep us from receiving our due rewards. After the glorious
second coming, the earth will end and there is no reason to stay
here. As God's personally-sanctioned news station Fox reports,
everything we cherish is under attack and there is little chance of saving it.
We must prepare in these final days- to meet our maker. A pure
cotton toga with beaded belt would be the appropriate clothes. It is
important for those who await Jesus to live near the water's edge,
for he shall return there. Quit your job now and tell every believer
you know to move to the beach and wait. Global warming is just the
fires of Hell being stoked to receive earth's non-believers.